Author: Methos2 and Stormwriter and *cough* the Muses
Warning: m/m
Title: April Fools!
Rating: NC-17
Archive: Ask us
Feedback: please.
Disclaimer: We are poor penniless writers. Characters created by P/D belong to P/D, we just borrowed them.

Authors' Notes: This was created on 1-2 April 2004, and is a stand-alone that falls within the alternate universe we've created.

April Fool's!

It's April first in Joe's Bar in Seacouver, and Methos is at the bar. He's pulled out his cell phone and is calling Macleod, when he stiffens briefly at the sensation that means another Immortal is approaching. He only relaxes slightly when he sees who it is.

Cassandra steps into the bar looking around for the source of the immortal signature. She glares at Methos when she finds him.

As Methos hears the phone picked up, and Duncan's voice, he says "Duncan... I'm at Joe's with a close friend, and we have something important to tell you."

"A close friend?" Duncan asks, curious. "Who? And just what's so important, Old Man, that you can't tell me now?"

"I'll tell you when we come over. You're not busy, right?"

Duncan glances down at his mostly naked form and grins sheepishly. "No, I just closed up the dojo and was planning to take a shower. But you have a key, so come on in."

"It will be about a half hour," Methos replies, just looking at Cassandra, one hand on his thigh.

Relieved that Methos isn't too close by, Duncan grins. "That should work. And like I said, come on in. You've got a key. The beer's in the fridge, like always."

"Alright. See you in 30 minutes," Methos replies, shutting off his cell and stuffing it in his pocket. He quickly downs the rest of the beer sitting in front of him on the counter.

Cassandra saunters over to Methos, a sly smile graces her face. "So after this you are mine for an evening, correct?" She sits down next to him, green eyes watching him closely. "As long as I don't take your head of course."

Methos licks his lips and nods, "That was the deal." He pulls a small black box out of his pocket, "Gotta have the appearances correct, and what's an engagement without a ring."

Cassandra tilts her head and smiles, "You must really want to shock him. Your plan is meticulous." She holds out her hand for the ring, "But then your always were."

Methos puts the ring on her finger, carefully avoiding touching her. He doesn't look at her while he does this, his thoughts in turmoil. "There. I told Mac a half hour. Now you remember what we discussed? You only have to be there long enough for him to get over the first shock, and then you can go."

"As you say." Cassandra holds her hand out and admires the ring. "A very good choice."

Methos stands, grabbing his coat, and holding up Cassandra's for her. "Ready? Clear on everything?"

Cassandra gets up, "I hope this is worth it for you. I do intend to have my price." She takes her coat and slips it on ready to follow him out of the bar.

They make their way to the dojo in silence, Cassandra following Methos in her own car. Once there, Cassandra waits while Methos unlocks the door and relatches it behind them. Stopping by the elevator, Methos picks up his cellular phone and begins to dial. Hearing Duncan pick up the phone, he says, "Mac? We're here. See you upstairs in about five minutes."

"I'll be waiting," Duncan replies, toweling off his hair. "Even have a beer out and waiting for you."

Cassandra takes Methos hand into her own and brings it to her lips. She kisses it at first then bites it, almost hard enough to break the skin, as Methos says, "Okay. On our way. Uhh." Ending the call, he twitches as Cassandra bites him, then growls, "Stop that."

Cassandra smiles, "For now."

Methos shudders slightly, then opens the door to the main dojo, "After you." When she doesn't instantly move, he heads for the elevator, half-watching Cassandra out of the corner of his eye. "Come on."

Duncan glances up as the elevator comes to a full stop. He can sense another Immortal with Methos. "So what's so important, Old Man?" he calls out, curious as to who is with him. Cassandra pulls Methos to her and gives him a long passionate kiss before Duncan gets a chance to open the elevator door. As Duncan lifts the gate, he stops dead in his tracks at what he sees. The bottle of beer in his hand shatters as it impacts with the floor. "Cassandra?" he asks, voice raising an octave in his shock. "What are yew doin' here? An' with Methos?"

Methos resists slightly, but the lurching of the elevator pushes him towards Cassandra, and his arms go around her instinctively. As Cassandra kisses him, he starts to return the kiss, then makes a muffled noise, jerking back from her, his eyes flashing. He leans in, his face hidden by hers, hissing, "Stop it. Or so help me I'll paddle your ass."

Cassandra steps away from Methos and hugs Duncan, "Where else would I be on this most important day?"

Duncan stares at them in confusion. "Most important day? What are you talking about?" He makes no indication of moving away, or of acknowledging the broken glass at his feet.

Methos puts his hands in his pockets, and looks pointedly at the floor, "Aren't you going to clean that up? Or do you want me to?"

Duncan's eyes follow Methos' gaze and finally notices the broken bottle. "Shit!" He moves into the kitchen quickly, grabbing a towel and dustpan to clean up the mess. He works silently for a moment before staring at the other two. "Are you just going to stay in the elevator all night, Methos? Or were you planning to destroy my building with a Quickening?"

"Far from it, Macleod. The only death I want to experience is the little one." Methos says with a smirk, arm snaking out to pull Cassandra to him, "We're engaged to be married." Methos says, suddenly looking a lot like Adam Pierson. Cassandra smiles at Duncan like there could be no better news and leans in to kiss Methos on the cheek.

Jaw dropping in shock, Duncan stumbles backward a few paces, rubbing roughly at his eyes. "I've no' had a drink," he mutters to himself, brogue strongly evident, and stares at them. "I've no' hit my head. I'm no' sleeping. What kind of witchery do yew have on Methos, Cassandra? I'll no' have you trying to take his head."

Cassandra says "Who says I want to take his head. Rather the one on his shoulders I mean." she smiles flirtatiously."

Methos looks a bit affronted, "No trickery on me, Macleod. I've never been susceptible to her Voice, and I've neither drank nor eaten anything she's given me." He steps away from Cassandra, his face suddenly alight with amusement, "You, on the other hand, look like you could use some of her potions." He glances at Cassandra, nodding. "April Fool's, Macleod."

Duncan stares at the two of them, realization dawning on him. He flushes darkly and stares at them. "Very funny, Methos," he snorts. "Which of you came up with this brilliant plan? And how have you managed not to kill each other?"

Cassandra says "I'll have my payment." Cassandra takes another step away from Methos and wipes her lips with the back of her hand."

Methos rubs the back of his neck nervously, stepping closer to Macleod. "We managed to come to... an agreement."

Duncan quirks a brow. "What sort of agreement is that, Old Man?" His eyes go back and forth between the other two people, curious and wary.

"Something between her and I..." He holds up a hand, "And before you get all protective on me, she agreed not to try to take my head."

Cassandra smiles mysteriously, "I'll leave you to explain." she says to Methos. "Remember 6pm on the 19th." she steps towards the elevator.

"Cassandra..." Duncan takes a step toward her. "I..." He shakes his head. "Just remember, I want him to live..." She doesn't answer him, merely smiling as she heads back into the elevator, closing the gate behind her. Duncan stares after her for a moment, mind racing at what has just happened, and Methos braces himself as if for a storm. Duncan turns to stare at Methos. "What the hell was that?"

Methos won't look at Duncan for the moment, scuffing the floor with a foot, "April Fool's?" he questions, looking all of about 30.

Duncan continues to silently stare at his lover. The amusement factor of the prank slowly dawns on him, but he decides to let Methos squirm a bit. Fitting payback, perhaps? "Do you have any idea how potentially dangerous that could have been, Methos? I could have drawn my sword. What would you have done then?"

Methos shrugs, "Drawn mine? That was actually the easy part. The phone conversation was interesting. But I've learned to be persuasive when I want to. And offering her a chance to take her revenge on me, in a non-lethal way, went a long way."

Both eyebrows rise well into his hairline at that admission. "Excuse me?" Duncan asks. "What did you just say? What sort of revenge?"

Methos goes into the kitchen, pulling a beer out of the fridge, after getting another for Duncan. He hands it to Duncan with a slight smirk. "I believe her words were, after she stopped swearing, this... 'So after this you are mine for an evening correct? As long as I don't take your head of course.' " Methos says.

Duncan blinks in astonishment. "You're going to let Cassandra have her way with you? I'm impressed."

Methos plops on the couch with a sigh, "No permanent harm, no foul, right? It's not like she doesn't deserve it. And I highly doubt she can do worse than you already do to me, Duncan."

Duncan considers his words, nodding thoughtfully. "Very true, Methos," he replies, moving to settle on the other end of the couch. "So how did you come up with this plan anyway? Seems a rather elaborate background for a little prank?"

Methos shrugs, looking sheepish, "I just thought of it falling asleep the other night. I wanted something you'd believe, and I have to say your reaction was worth it."

Duncan chuckles self-consciously. "You know, until you mentioned the beer, I'd forgotten all about it. Never even felt it fall from my hand." He reaches across to lightly slap Methos' thigh. "You really are a pain in my ass, Old Man. But I love you for it anyway."

Methos sighs, "Good. Because she's giving me the shudders with that 'evening'. She bit me, twice tonight."

Duncan quirks a brow. "Twice? And just where exactly did she bite you?" he asks, moving closer, leaning in to nuzzle at Methos' shoulder.

"My hand... Here." He points to the edge of his palm, "And my tongue, in the elevator." He twitches again, "I think I'm giving her far more than I got from this whole thing."

Duncan grins broadly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Why, Methos, I'd almost think you were afraid of paying up your end of the bargain?" He can't help but chuckle softly.

Methos glares at Duncan, "You're just enjoying this too much."

Duncan raises a hand against his chest. "Moi? And why would I enjoy it, acushla?" he asks, attempting ingenuity...and failing. "Could it be that you're getting more than you bargained for and won't have the upper hand?"

Methos looks suddenly tired, "I don't know, and I can't say I blame her. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I'd had the guts to stand up to Kronos all those centuries ago."

Duncan shakes his head. "Who is it that tells me not to dwell on the past so much? Not to worry about my past decisions?" He turns Methos' face toward his. "Old Man, you'll be fine. She'll get her revenge without taking your head, and hopefully things will be fine after that."

Methos lowers his eyes, toying with his dress pants seam, "I'm..." He snorts disgustedly, "You'd think she's Challenged me." He stops for a long while, "I'm scared, Duncan."

Duncan sets his beer on the table and pulls Methos into his arms. "Methos, maybe there's something I can to do help? I can talk to her if you'd like..."

Methos sucks in his breath with a sigh, "I appreciate the offer, but I think this is something I need to deal with, to endure on my own. Support me until it happens, then let me go deal with it, alone. However... if I don't come home that night, I release you from any and all promises not to interfere."

Duncan blinks in astonishment at Methos' last words. "If you don't come home that night, she'll be dead before she knows what hit her," he growls viciously. "If you don't come home that night, she'll have broken her agreement to my wishes and she'll pay for it."

Methos cuddles close, "Anyway, who knows, maybe it will be more therapeutic than I expect. Maybe we can stand to be around one another after that. I mean, after all, I don't know the woman she is today. You do, a little." He's quiet for a long while, then turns and licks the length of Duncan's neck, "Love me? Distract me?"

Duncan pulls Methos closer, nuzzling into his lover's throat. "Of course, I love you, acushla," he murmurs thickly, lips taking possession of Methos' mouth in a tenderly demanding kiss. He can't help the amused chuckle at Methos' mental I meant make love to me, MacLeod, and pulls back to look at the older man. "I knew what you meant, Old Man," he teases gently. "I was working on getting your mind distracted...and you out of your clothes."

Methos shifts against the couch, "Good, cause it works."

Duncan chuckles and nips at Methos' lower lip. His fingers move to pull Methos' clothes from his body, eager to remind his lover just how sexy and loved he is. Methos helps, as much as he can, eager to be out of the clothes he's in, which remind him of Cassandra at the moment. Duncan continue to pull Methos' clothes off, nipping and tasting as much flesh as he can touch. He growls low in his throat. "Going to get under your skin, Old Man. So deep under your skin that you won't be alone when you meet with Cassandra." He lightly bites just to the left of Methos' right nipple, fingers easing into his lover's pants.

Groaning as he feels Duncan's teeth on him, Methos arches his hips up towards Duncan's fingers, "I do like the sound of that. A great deal."

Duncan chuckles darkly against Methos' sternum, biting his way down his lover's stomach, pushing the pants away. Fingers wrap tightly around Methos' cock, stroking roughly. "So hot, so hard," he murmurs, flicking the tip of his tongue across the tip of Methos' cock. The fingers of his other hand glide between his legs, teasing his anus. Methos' stomach ripples as Duncan bites it. He groans and can't contain his bucking hips when Duncan starts stroking him, his legs falling open as Duncan reaches for his ass. Two fingers press deeply into Methos as Duncan's lips surround the head of Methos' cock. He goes no further down, tongue lashing across the sensitive flesh. His fingers thrust roughly into his lover, scissoring and stretching out Methos for further penetration. Groaning, head back, muscles in his neck standing out from the tension Duncan has almost instantly created, Methos can't decide where his hands should go. On Duncan's head, on the couch, or just where they happen to fall. His head thrashes with the indecision. Duncan continues to build Methos' need and then suddenly pulls back. Easing back on his heels, he quirks a brow at his lover. "Tell me, Old Man," he growls softly. "Why do you still have so many clothes on? Clothes that smell like Cassandra? Something you'd care to tell me about?"

Methos stops mid-groan and looks at Duncan, eyes glazed with lust. It takes him a minute to comprehend what Duncan is saying, the words finally sinking in. He shakes his head, immediately getting up and stripping. "Better? She had her hands all over me. Other than the elevator lurching on me."

Duncan turns Methos around suddenly, pushing him down on his face on the couch, and spreads the cheeks of his ass wide. Leaning in, he glides the tip of his tongue down the crevice, stabbing at the older man's opening. Starting to struggle for a minute, the speed at which Duncan moved startling him, Methos is suddenly docile in Duncan's hands as he is bent down on the couch. He pushes up toward Duncan, moaning as he feels Duncan's tongue again. Tongue pushing further into Methos' ass, Duncan growls happily. His arousal is palpable across their telepathic bond. Want to fuck you senseless... glides across Methos' mind as his hips thrust forward slightly, cock obviously wishing it was where his tongue currently is.

Then why don't you? I'm not objecting. Methos' mental reply is just as aroused, and he continues to moan and squirm slightly under Duncan, his upper body shifting and restless, first resting on his forehead, then resting on his arms, then biting a knuckle as Duncan hits a particularly sensitive spot.

Duncan shoves his jeans down, barely taking the time to unzip the fly. Cock in one hand, he pulls Methos back by the hips with the other. "Better be ready, Old Man, because I am," he growls just before slamming his cock into Methos' ass in one forceful thrust. Shuddering under Duncan's hands, Methos groans with need, head going back as Duncan slams into him. He immediately starts to push back against Duncan, more than ready for hard and fast. Duncan continues to snap his hips forward, cock thrusting deeply into his lover. "Mine, Old Man," he growls, grunting as he fucks his lover thoroughly. "Don't you forget it, and I'll make sure Cassandra doesn't forget it either."

Methos groans, hands reaching back to claw at Duncan, as he pushes himself back onto Duncan. I'm not going to forget, Donnchaid, I have your tattoo on my ass. Duncan growls possessively again, hips pistoning faster. He pulls Methos back against him with one arm wrapped around the older man's waist. Once Methos is flush against him, Duncan's fingers move to touch everything but his lover's cock, pinching Methos' nipples roughly. Methos leans his head back on Duncan's shoulder, arm going up to curl around Duncan's head. He turns his head so he can nibble on Duncan's neck, moaning into the skin under his teeth.

"Yesss," Duncan hisses, head arching back. His fingers move to press tightly into Methos' hips. "Touch yourself," he groans. "Come with me."

Panting slightly, Methos reaches down and slips his free hand around his cock, thrusting into his hand in counterpoint with Duncan's hips. He starts to jerk, groaning constantly. Duncan twists his hips as he thrusts deeply, making serious attempts to hit Methos' prostate with each deep thrust. His own hips begin to move erratically within a moment. He fights the need as long as possible before he finally comes with a fierce howl. After two or three thrusts against his prostrate, Methos can feel his orgasm start to crash over him, and he groans deeply, counterpoint to Duncan's howl as his body stiffens in ecstasy.

Duncan pulls Methos closer, nuzzling into his throat. "You are not alone," he murmurs. "Not now, not ever."

Panting heavily, Methos groans once more, leaning into Duncan. "I never said I was. And I am already yours."

Duncan chuckles suddenly. "You realize the shock hasn't completely worn out of my system yet regarding your little prank?" he murmurs, amused as hell. "I may have to spank you for that later..."

Chuckling softly at Duncan's response, Methos runs a finger down Duncan's chest. "Is that why you just fucked my brains out like a teenager?" he asks mischievously, "We still have several hours on April Fool's." He wiggles against Duncan, "Please?"

Duncan leans back slightly, brow furrowed in thought. "Like a teenager, eh?" he teases. "Well, according to your finely vintaged age, I guess I am something of a baby, aren't I?" His own mischievous smirk is broad. "And as for spanking you? And fucking you again? I think I could handle that. Just need to get off this floor..."

"I wasn't thinking age, I was thinking hormones. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, I like it when you're passionate, possessive." Methos says, grinning to echo Duncan's grin.

"You make me feel passionate and possessive, Methos," Duncan replies seriously, despite the smile still on his face. Carefully, he attempts to get up, to bring Methos with him. "Come on, acushla, let's go continue this in bed."